Love Affairs

28 04 2010

I have love affairs with things quite often. Most recently, that would be Meijer.

Meijer is a grocery stores slash everything store slash my newly-found mecca. You may know it’s cousin, Walmart (Wal-Mart?) (Quick rant: per AP style it was Wal-Mart until in 2009 or so when they changed it to Walmart for stores but Wal-Mart for the company. That makes me angry since I practically memorized the 2004 AP style guide. And because it’s confusing. Damn you AP style.)

Anyway – and this is per my coworker so it could be totally false but I’m in no mood to research – Walmart dude (Sam Walton?) and Meijer dude (someone Meijer) went to college together and came up with the idea for the big box store. Meijer dude just wanted to open them in Michigan so Walmart dude took all the other states, and they had a handshake deal not to infringe upon each others’ territories. And then years and years later Walmart dude dies and Walmart goes to open in Michigan and Meijer dude is all like “WTF!?!” and they’re all “What handshake deal?” and so Meijer dude decides to expand to other states since their deal is apparently off.

You know, or something like that.

Anyway, Meijer is just in the Midwest and? It. Is. Awesome. My friend Laura took me and my first words were “It’s like a Walmart. But clean. And not ghetto.” And my friends, that’s exactly what it is.

Big Daddy and I are really bad grocery shoppers. He is very focused and I’m very la-la-la until I get bored and want to go home. Meijer may just be the only place we both enjoy shopping.

Enter love affair number two of the entry. It’s a food product. I searched for it last week at Meijer, but no dice. But this week? Oh sweet success! I came up with this:

Yep. Yogurt for fatties. I’m not even kidding, they make this!!! And I couldn’t wait to get my little red velvet-lovin’ paws on it. See, I have sort of a history with red velvet…

My huge red velvet hog cake (that I ran out of icing for, don’t judge!)

Or the lovely massive Red Velvet Elvis cupcakes I found at a nearby bakery… (again, don’t judge. That’s a year ago, I was unemployed with no money to tan or dye my hair, AND I had already eaten the R.V.E. so that was it’s less-tasty cousin the spice cake cupcake. You get the idea.)

Or one could even consider my wedding cake…

Yummy! (Made by the same Meijer-loving friend Laura… interesting… I see a pattern…)

Anyway today we tried to eat our cake topper. From our wedding that was 39 days ago. It was… not 100%. I, being a red velvet aficionado, didn’t want to disrespect the velvet by eating 39 day old cake. Big Daddy, however, was all over it.

All the moist had died. I was le sad.

However that’s when I realized… I had red velvet YOGURT.

Behold, the inside.

So yea, it was pink… like as if some red velvet cake melted. The taste? Not so much like red velvet. Slightly, but I detected some berry as well. It sort of reminded me of this…

Pink little kid yogurt.

Which – considering I’m the world’s pickiest eater who refuses to eat any kind of yogurt with THINGS in it – is just fine by me.

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7 responses

28 04 2010
Em

Ok, I don’t like yogurt w/ things in it either!! My mom (and most people) think I’m crazy. But like, little fruit chunk thingys? EWW gag blech.

Anyway. I LOVE Yoplait Light Thick and Creamy (the Red Velvet only comes in the Light version.) But seriously, Light Thick and Creamy is where it’s AT. And my personal fave? Cherry Cobbler. Yes my friend, it’s amazing (and like 100 calories.) Mmmm.

29 04 2010
Cindy G

I love Meijer too! It’s always so clean and the employees are always friendly at the one we shop at.

29 04 2010
Steph

Ok, so picky eater tell me how picky eater # 2 (moi) can acquire a taste for yogurt. Ugh, it just doesn’t even appeal to my palate. We have Meijers, but I’ve only been in them once or twice…I’m more of a Kroger for groceries, Target for everything else type gal. Although, in our new subdivision, there is a WalMart Market which only sells groceries. It’s fabulous, clean and never busy! And because I’m HATING my job this week so I’m blowing it off: I don’t think your co-worker was right, unless he’s related to a Meijer or Walton and knows family details: http://www.mlive.com/business/west-michigan/index.ssf/2009/06/post_3.html

29 04 2010
kjpugs

LOL! Sometimes yogurt grosses me out too, so far I can only palate Dannon vanilla, lemon, and anything ambiguous like this Yoplait red velvet.

Re: Meijer – I just called him out on his story and yes, he knows the Meijer family. Call out FAIL.

29 04 2010
Stacy Marie

OMG I must find this store, it sounds heavenly. The walmart in my town is the most ghetto thing ever, once my little sister did the dollar on a fishing line trick there to great success.

Have you tried greek yogurt? The vanilla stuff is delish and it has a shit ton of protein so it keeps you full forever.

30 04 2010
Nevis

I actually tried the Red-Velvet yogurt and I loved it. It didn’t taste like Red Velvet Cake, but it did have a pleasent taste and I hate “bits” of fruit in my yogurt so I loved its creamy smoothness. I’m totally with ya in love with Red velvet cake!

6 05 2010
Kelly

OMG This post cracked me up!! I just discovered Meijer’s grocery (more so their produce) selection from a friend of mine and loved it! I also hate grocery shopping as well. And now that you mention it, Meijer is Walmart but less ghetto and cleaner. Haha!

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