Chug Love

13 05 2010

I am a discerning consumer. When I am happy or unhappy, I express it. I do not tolerate poor service and yes I will tell you if I failed to find everything I was looking for. On the other hand, if Billy Joe does a great job helping me, Billy Joe’s manager will know.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s start the story. Miller Lite. Delicious beer for drinking in excess.

(Small aside- I will divulge that I had to take a few-month break from Miller Lite when Big Daddy and I entered a case race. You know, when you and a partner race others to see which team can drink a case of beer first. I was told it was $20 entry per team, and, being engaged at the time, the $200-ish prize to me equaled “florist deposit.” Competition mode set in. We won. Then I vomited all night, woke up at 5am, asked Big Daddy how much money we won, and was told “$45. We spent it on pizza for you.” They had changed the entry fee to $5 since people didn’t want to pay that much to lose. I learned a lot of lessons that day.)

Beer. I am a hops girl, I like a good IPA or even an amber ale. But when it comes to partying, Big Daddy and I are all about Miller Lite. On Saturday, he brought home some beer and we drank it when I got back from seein’ my buddy. And I fell in love. Deep, sexy, delicious chug love. With the Miller Lite Bottle-Can. I’ve come to find in my research that it’s called the Alumi-Tek Pint Bottle, and was introduced in fall 2008-ish. It’s amazing. Run – don’t walk – to your nearest convenience store to get this bottle-can-wonder. Allow me to describe. It’s a can shape, but with a wider mouth than a normal glass can. It chills quickly because, like a can, it’s aluminum. (I think. Whatever it’s made of is what cans are made of.) These bottle-cans chilled so quickly and thoroughly that I needed a koozie to even hold it. The last few sips were refreshing, not warm and watery. The wider mouth made it easier to drink. And- it’s got a resealable screw-top. I die. I seriously die. If I wasn’t already married I would have proposed marriage. If Big Daddy didn’t ask it to marry him first. I kid you not.

Here she is, in all her glory. I also had a corner of the can in one of my pictures in this entry.

It contains the same amount of beer as a pint glass- 16 oz, more than a bottle or can. And it’s sold here in Indy with all sorts of Indy 500 stuff on it. Because here, in Indiana, is the Indianapolis 500. If you don’t know what that is you have been sheltered and should be ashamed. When you attend the 500 as a spectator, the rules sate that you can bring beers in a cooler, but they have to be cans and there can’t be any glass or otherwise dangerous bottles. They check your cooler (for a hot third of a second) and then you enter and drink. And then end up like this.

You know. Or something like that. The point is, that these non-glass bottles are approved to enter the race!

So I had to buy some chicken for our dinner tonight, and Big Daddy and I were in agreement that we wanted beers also and not just that, we wanted bottle-cans!! My normal grocery didn’t have them. I made sure to find a manager who told me they weren’t that popular (!!!!) so he didn’t order them again. SCORN. I was all “Well they’re MY favorite” and he was like “You’re alone on that one.” So I buy chicken but head to an awesome liquor store near us that sells almost everything. I ask him if they have it (you know, hidden, like a secret for special VIP’s only) and he also says NO. I ask why and he said he chose not to order it because of the pricing. Apparently, you buy enough Miller Lite bottles (or any beer) you get a discount for bulk. But the alumi-tek bottles don’t qualify for the bulk discount. I was like, “Oh really, you didn’t get them for the race fans?” and he was all, “No, we have these for the race” and motioned like Vanna White towards a huge display of some delicious beers like Fat Tire in a tower of cans. I scoffed. The race is not a time for flexing your good-taste-in-beer muscles. It’s a time for this.

In his defense, his beer hasn’t spilled.

Or this…

In my defense, my necklace looked like Mike and Ike candy.

I said, “I won’t drink these for the race. The bottle-cans are amazing, they keep the beer so cold and are easy to drink.” He was like, “really?” I was like, “Yea. The ghetto liquor store near my house has them but only accepts cash. I guess I’ll buy some Miller Lite bottles here but I’ll be buying with cash at the ghetto place before the race. Lots of bottle-cans. Lots.” Then I walked away. And was all, over my shoulder, “Let me know if you reconsider, cause I’ll buy them here.” And he was all, “I might just!”

Who knows if he’s for real (probbbbbably not) but the moral of this story is GO FIND THESE BOTTLE CANS! Check the ghettoest place you know of. If they only accept cash, that’s even better. Just find them and drink them and thank me later.

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6 responses

13 05 2010
Ashley

My dad brought some of those down with him when he came to the wedding (he’s in Wisconsin). We don’t have those down here, but they are the coolest thing ever!

14 05 2010
Kelly

I once had to deliver liquor products (when I was a manager for a marketing company) to the liquor store off of Capitol downtown. They keep their employees behind bars. It’s nuts!!

Also these look fantastic, but too bad I am a Bud fan (I know you will scoff at me for this lol). But really I can’t taste the beer after 5-10 anyways, especially at the race. Last year my mom made 100 jello shots. She made us eat them all. =( I can’t wait to see how drunk she gets this year! Haha. And your necklace does look like candy!!!

14 05 2010
Lex

I went to a mariner’s game last weekend and they had Bud Light Lime in bottle cans and I am a bud girl… so i had to try. and omg i totally agree! Excpet i didn’t know they had a screw cap cause they take the lids off them. I don’t think you can buy them in canada yet but they are damn awesome!

As is the pic of the guy passed out who didn’t spill his beer.

14 05 2010
Ali @ His Birdie's Nest

Girl, you and your Mike & Ike necklace crack me up!

15 05 2010
Nevis

You’re going to think I’m crazy but I’ve never had beer. I’m not a huge drinker and the smell has always rather put me off. Is it an aquired taste?

1 06 2010
Treats from Big Daddy « kjpugs: ordinary in indiana

[…] We were chugging water more than beers. Although you will notice our beers of choice in that photo! MILLER BOTTLE CANS! It’s like a freakin’ […]

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