Love and Subconscious Bed Shaking

20 08 2010

Today? Is our five month anniversary of marriage!!!!!

Honestly it seem like a million times longer than that.

(A wedding pic my friend Laura took right after our ceremony… seriously cannot believe it was 5 months ago!)

I am so lucky to be married to Big Daddy. I cannot imagine my life without him, and love our goofy little inside jokes and all the sweet things he does for me.

That being said, I almost killed him last night.

And yes, he has given me permission to post this story. Surprisingly.

Poor B was up at 4-something in the morning for work yesterday. By 8:30 at night he was passed out in his recliner, so he went to bed.

I knew this spelled trouble, because we normally- as in, 99.9% of the time- go to bed at the same time. He falls asleep immediately while I drift off listening to the TV (which is on sleep so it won’t wake up B later in the night.)

It’s our fool-proof routine.

So when he went to bed at 8:30 and I was nowhere near tired, I knew the night wouldn’t end well. I stayed up until about 9:30 reading blogs and watching TV, and then took out the puggies. I figured I would play on my iPhone in bed until I fell asleep, since turning on the TV was out of the question. So I got in bed near 10pm, and tweeted at you all, waiting for sleep.

First, B adjusted in his sleep, so that his hand was dangling precisely one quarter inch from my face. And no amount of subconscious bed shaking would move it.

Finally he adjusted on his own. I put the phone away and prayed for sleep to be quick. And that’s when the snoring started.

Normally the TV blurs the snoring until I am asleep. More subconscious bed shaking (you know when you kind of wiggle, so the bed shakes a bit, not enough to wake them but enough to make them move a bit? That’s subconscious bed shaking.)

I loudly sighed and shook the bed for about 10 or 15 minutes. He was turned towards me and basically snoring in my ear. Finally, he turned over into a new position. And… the snoring stopped!

I think I laughed I was so happy. And for a few minutes, sleep called to me. It was close.

Then he farted. HUGE. As in, the FART ITSELF was subconsciously shaking the bed.

(And I remind you, he adjusted so he was no longer facing me. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.)

It was a lose/lose situation for me and it is by the grace of GOD that sleep overtook me before I could murder him in his sleep.

When I told B this story today on my lunch break, he had to pull over because he was laughing so hard.

I reminded him I wasn’t telling him the story as entertainment, but rather as a polite reminder to never let this happen again.

I love you, B. Happy (Totally-Lame-Number-of-Months-that’s-Random-to-Celebrate) Anniversary!




13 responses

20 08 2010

He must really love you to allow you to post this story! 🙂

20 08 2010
DesignHER Momma

oh man, that is seriously funny! Happy Anniversary to you all! (and if this is as bad as it ever gets, you are blessed!)


20 08 2010

OMG I’m crying I’m laughing so hard!! I think I snorted too hahahaha. Happy 5 months of being married!!!!
Is this what I have to look fwd too when I finally get married? LOL I cant wait for bed shaking ( which when I read this I thought you meant something else:) I Know I have a gutter mind. But when one reads bedshaking, 5 months of being married and love only one could think to go there LOL.. Anyway I cant wait for bedshaking farts and in your face snorning:)

20 08 2010


Josh says I fart in my sleep all the time, but I don’t believe him. He’s telling stories. 😉

21 08 2010

Hahahaha, I love it. I just read it sitting next to David and told him I’m so glad he doesn’t snore. I seriously might kill him. I already come close to murdering him every morning when he presses snooze 10000 times and I have to wake him up each time to shut off the alarm.

21 08 2010

Congrats on 5 happy months! If it makes you feel better, Justin has accidentally smacked me in the face in his sleep on multiple occasions (as in, arm spasm…a la Marshall and Lilly in How I Met Your Mother).

21 08 2010

Omg I bed-shake, too!! Ugh so annoying when I have to do it (which is practically every night.) Happy 5 months!!

21 08 2010

Ahhahahahah. Seriously this could be a story that takes places almost weekly between R and I. Yes, for real. Happy 5 months – we’re toasting 11 months today – insane, right?! We’re a month away from 1 year of married bliss. Crazy!

21 08 2010

I have no idea what you are talking about .. but I bet Brad does. I am the snorer between the two of us and I always ask him why he was able to sleep so well before, when we first met and he said that the snoring has exponentially escalated. Haha. So our routine is that he has to go to sleep first.

21 08 2010

BAHAHAHAHA! Oh, that’s good stuff. We have to listen to loud cry baby cats all night, so thank god Rob doesn’t snore or fart. It’s tough enough to sleep around here.

22 08 2010

Ha! I don’t even bother with the subconcious bed shaking, I do the concious. I am lucky though D is not too bad at that, but he feels the same as B about the TV at night time. I need it to sleep too. Nowadays, I’m the one waking D up with my million trips to the bathroom during the night then laying back down and getting close to him and clunking heads (it’s dark I can’t see). Happy 5 month!

24 08 2010

BWAHAHAHAHAA!! Mr. B does it too – he must realize it when he does it because even in his sleep he gives a little smirk. I think it’s hysterical. My sensory glands… notsomuch.

2 09 2010
Pug-in-Nook « kjpugs: ordinary in indiana

[…] ones. So today, I was kind of blah. My feet hurt, and I didn’t get a lot of sleep. (More snoring and more subconscious bed shaking…. I even took a video to show B how it sounded. Actually I say in the video that it will be […]

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