Name Snob

12 09 2010

If you guys know me at all, or have read my about me, or um, read my tweets– you probably realize my name is Kelly. Which is fine. I’m pretty sure there are millions of us.

Growing up I wasn’t such a big fan of Kelly. I LOVED funkier names like Chloe, or more formal names that could have awesome nickname potential, like Elizabeth (Liz? Beth?!) Plus, being a Kelly who was born in the 80’s means you’re among a bunch of -y names, like Tiffany, Ashley, Courtney, Brittany, etc. So freaking superficial and 80’s. (I’m sure all the Isabellas and Avas and Olivias of right now will be bitching about this in 20 years, and wish they had “unique” names… like Tiffany!)

Truth be told, I like grandma names more than anything. Give me a Helen, Lorraine, Dolores, or Evelyn any day. But I digress.

I have weird quirks about some things that tend to bother me. And one of them is any nickname that is not as a whole a part of the original name. I think this started out of bitterness at a young age. You see, I wanted a “cool” nickname and tried to go by Kat. Because I liked cats, and Kelly starts with a K. You can see where this is going and probably realize that it didn’t stick. At all. Save for a few pieces of artwork that are signed “Kat Maidenname,” it didn’t even exist. This must’ve been the catalyst for my name snobbery.

My sister Min is actually not named Min. It’s part of her nickname Minnie, used more often than her formal real name. This bothers me to no end. A nickname should be A) taken directly from the name (ex: Christopher / Chris) B) Not longer than the actual name, since nicknames are supposed to shorten the name (ex: Anne / Annie.)

To answer your inevitable questions, yes I realize I have a problem and no I am not seeking help.

I try not to judge people on their names, because it’s technically not their fault. It’s their parents’ fault. (It’s also REALLY their fault if they gave their child a normal name spelled differently, like Bryttniee or something. But that’s a whole ‘nother issue.) But now that people in my life are starting to have kids, I’m preparing myself for my therapy needs to handle their kids’ nicknames. Some that I have problems with:

  • William / Bill. If you want him to go by Bill, name him Billiam. This is my least favorite.
  • Margaret / Peggy. I see NO CORRELATION except the letters e and g.
  • Richard / Dick. (REALLY??? I hope this doesn’t happen often.)
  • Charles / Charlie. You just made it LONGER to say.
  • Jacob / Jake. If Jacob were spelled Jakeob then things might be different. I don’t like the spelling to change (like in Abigail / Abby, etc.)
  • Leonard / Lenny.
  • Christine / Chrissy.
  • Dennis / Denny.
  • Francis / Frank.
  • Susan / Susie.
  • Gerald / Gerry.
  • James / Jim.

I could go on, and on, and on. And yes, don’t worry, I still think your baby Peggy is ADORABLE. But then why don’t you just name her Peggy? Instead of giving her a name that has only slight (or zero) relation to her nickname? That she’ll have no connection to!

**calms myself down**

My name snobbery is pretty bad. Luckily Kelly can be nicknamed easily, so I am not bothered by my name as much anymore. I got called Kel a lot most of my life, until college. Then, in my southern oasis, it went immediately to KJ. For my first and last initial. I embraced this right away… knowing I could be KJ forever, since my initials were KJJ. I think nicknaming by initial is more commonly a southern thing- especially for girls- partially due to the prevalence of double names in the south.

B rarely if ever calls me Kel, but will call me KJ, or sometimes “K-double-J” out of habit. I have to remind him I’m KJH now!

Speaking of initials, I recently got rid of these two:

The only two monogrammed bags I had that aren’t too old/used. I passed them along to another KJJ, found through the Weddingbee Boards. I posted that I had these and another user’s friend is a KJJ, so she requested them and I sent them along. The recipient KJJ seemed to love them! I just couldn’t give them to Goodwill. I wanted another KJJ to love them.

Speaking of which, anyone know any KJHs who just got married and have tons of monogrammed Vera to give away? Anyone? Bueller?

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17 responses

12 09 2010
Jessica

Have I got an overload for you… My nieces are Brooke/Brooklyn and Abby/Abigail. Then, my husband goes by his middle name because his dad shares his first name, David.

12 09 2010
Hannah

I grew up with a grandma name. Literally! I’m named Hannah Marie after my grandma and I wouldn’t pick any other name growing up. Unfortunately, Hannah has become a top 5 name in the past few years so every single playground has at least one Hannah on it while I’ve known few Hannahs my age. I keep telling myself that I’ll appreciate this when I’m 50 and the average age for Hannahs is 30. I will feel young.

Also, my mom hates nicknames. Her name is Wilmetta and has gone by WIllie or Wendy her entire life. She wishes her mom would have just named her Wendy! That is why were were named and are called Hannah, Allison and Michael. Not Hanie, Ally and Mike. She said she would have named us that if she wanted us to be called that.

Also, here is my rantish take on this:
* William: You can go call them: William, Will, Willy, Bill, Billy… this is extensive
* Margaret: We almost had a wedding FIASCO with this one. We invited a Margaret and got a reply from a Peggy. We freaked out and had no idea who we invited/if we left someone off of the list. Thankfully we saw an episode of Mad Men later that month and realized its the same name.
* Richard: I have an uncle dick. Its so awkward that my little sister called him Uncle Billy Pickles as a kid. I’ve called him only that since.
* Any nickname that starts with a different letter. Amanda/Mandy and Robert/Bob
* Nicknames past their age group. I understand you were Tommy as a kid but now you’re an adult. Thomas or Tom please. You’re not 5.

Thank you for venting for me. I now know that I am not alone.

(Also: Any former HMMs out there (or MMH – I like the H in the middle) let me know! I will take your goodies)

12 09 2010
Layla

How about this one – my husband, Josh? That’s not his name. It’s not his middle name either. He is named after his dad, so he’s James Edward. Where the HELL did they get JOSH!?!?

12 09 2010
Kelley

Did you know that my name was picked out of a hat? My mom wanted to name me Emily but everyone hated that name. So they fought for a few days and finally someone suggested we pick my nam eout of a hat. That’s were Kelley came from:) Fro conformation I took Kristin as my name in honor of Shawn, Thats what he wanted to name me:) So I’m Kelley Marie Kristin McCarthy KMKM hahahaha:) All my siblings have the different spellings of their name: Brian, Joanne, Shawn and there is Kelley. So I like that:)
My sister calls me Kel Kat 🙂
I get Kell Bell alot.. BUT in school smelly Kelley 😦 BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOL
I like to be called Kelley, not Kel..

Love you Kelly #1 hehehehe

13 09 2010
Heather

I have a completely different type of name snobbery. Once I tell you, you’ll never let me complain about being single. I won’t date guys if I don’t like their name. Seriously. I also won’t date guys named Kevin because that’s my brother’s name and that’s just weird.

Bad nicknames? My dad’s name (first & middle) is Franklin Thomas. What does everyone know him by? Pete. Who knows what my grandmother was thinking.

By the way, I hated my name growing up and wanted to be named Kelly 🙂

13 09 2010
kjpugs

That’s so funny because I love that name and many people have thought it was my name!!!! I’ve been called Heather and told I look like a Heather!

13 09 2010
EmilyB

You are a funny girl, KJ/Kelly/Kat. I love being an Emily because the only possible nickname is Em. I love only having those options. Unless some weirdo were to start calling me Ly. Hahaha can you imagine? Or Mily. GAH NO! Too bad every other DAMN KID these days is named Emily. It’s been in the top 10 of those baby name lists for years now. Usually it’s #1 or close to it.

I like older names, too. I’d love to name a girl (if I’m lucky enough to have one) Lillian (we’d probably call her Lilly/Lil, though. Is that ok?) If we have a boy Josh wants to name him Zachary. But then do we call him Zack or Zach? Ok now that I see it all typed out I hate it. That’s it, no babies for me.

13 09 2010
Jess

Haha, Kelly, you’re hilarious! And I totally hear you. Those William/Bill, Robert/Bob names especially have always bothered me. One of Clover’s nicknames is Billiam, hahah…
My name has been a popular one for a long time, and my first nickname was Keeka – I realize this should fit into your category of nicknames that make no sense at all, but I like it because it is what my twin sister called me when we were learning how to talk. That’s what came out when she tried to say Jessica!

13 09 2010
Brandi

People always freak out, because my dad and my husband both call me Kimmie. How do you get Kimmie from Brandi? Because my middle name is Kim. Not Kimberly. Kim. I’ve always been Kimmie to my dad, and hubby thought it was funny, so he started calling me that by the time we were 15 (yikes, that seems so long ago!).

My name pet peeve? When people name their children after themselves. Hubby is a Jr. There will NOT be a RAA the third. Which is pretty easy considering our kids will have my last name anyway. It’s confusing, for one, and I feel like naming a kid after someone is an honor – one you shouldn’t bestow upon yourself!

13 09 2010
Nikki

Well I am a Nicole and I go by Nikki. I never really got it, but I like Nikki better than Nicole so I’m OK with it.

13 09 2010
mkmd

omg. first, i love that your category is “anger”. second, i didn’t realize the whole margaret/peggy thing was common…there is a girl in my grad school program who does that and i just thought it was really random. third, can we do a joint post separately on just plain DUMB names…or things spelled with a Y instead of an I or A when its totally unnecessary?!? (do I spell my name Megyn? No. because that is DUMB). Fourth, I too have a common 80’s name…which is why I wanted my name to either be Renee…(rando) or…wait for it…Chandelier….when I was younger. Chandelier Deasy. Has a nice ring to it, no? I do think it is funny how people just pick nicknames for others and some stick and some don’t. Like no one would ever call me MD…but they’ll call me MK or Deasy. Love this post. Love your face. That is all.

13 09 2010
mkmd

oh that isn’t all. just as an aside. i almost ALWAYS accidentally type your blog address in as : kJUGSinstead of kjpugs. Freudian slip? most definitely.

13 09 2010
Lindsey

This post made me lol. Is it bad that I now want to name my son Billiam? But not to nickname him Bill, just so I can have a kid named Billiam. He would probably get beat up…

14 09 2010
Smtty

I think I win.

How about this. The FI is a THIRD!!!! (and let me add, a third of a really bad name that shouldn’t have been passed down!!!). Donald > Donny (but most want to spell it Donnie).

Best part? His Dad (who is the Junior of this name) doesn’t go by Don, Donald, or Donny. Nope. He’s called Butch.

I don’t get it.

And his mom doesn’t go by her real name, either. Everyone calls her Mickey. Say what?!

I’ve asked for explanations for both of these and all I get is “I don’t know…we’ve just always called him/her that.” And I’m like “well then why didn’t you name her that?!”

Personally, the only reason Smtty is my nickname is because I like to make fun of the fact that I have such a boring, freakishly common name. I would do it the proper way, spelling it with an -i (Smitty), but as with all things Smith, even THAT is really common!

16 09 2010
Dancy

Oh lawd this is a conversation I could have forever. Everyone in my family is named after everyone else – there’s like 6 James’s so you have to know the difference between James, Jimmy, Jim, Jet & JP. Yes, they’re all different people and they’re all related and some of them have the exact same name.

I’m like the 5th of my name (let’s say “Jane”) in my family – mostly named after my Nana and since they’re all so much older than me, I’ve always thought of it as an old lady name. Everyone called my Nana “Jane” which makes NO sense… because her name was Agnes!!

Mr. B & I have this converstaion all the time. I LOVE the name John Patrick aka “Jack” but alas Mr. B shares your theory of “then name him Jack!” But he also says it’ll never happen cuz then kids will call our son “Jack-off” and there ends the conversation. 😦

16 09 2010
shelikesruffles

Ugh….
So, my real name is Kathryn. However, my parents have NEVER ONCE called me that…it has ALWAYS been Katie. Always. In school, when a teacher would read attendance, I would never realize he/she was calling on me, since they would be using my full name. I don’t get it: why didn’t they just name me Katie?

My poor poor future children. They are going to have some strangeeee names. I have a list…and heaven help them.

22 09 2010
Laura L

You must have seen my tweets of me flipping out about Margaret and Peggy a couple of weeks ago… lol

I completely agree with you. Although my friend Rick’s real name isn’t Richard I still call him Dick. Mostly because I want to call him Dick.

And my grandpa is Francis and everyone called him frank… and brad’s dad is Gerald but everyone calls him Jerry (not even Gerry lol — and yes he’s Jerry Lewis lol)

Other then that I completely agree with you ESPECIALLLY with the WILLIAM/BILL… drives me up a wall!!!!

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