That time I got on the wrong plane.

6 10 2010

Well I’ve already ruined it for you with the blog title. But hear me out. ‘Cause it’s another one of my awkward stories.

It was October 2003. I had just started college at Elon University in North Carolina. AKA, the preppy capital of the southeast. Even though I retained much of my Jersey goodness (and still do!) I had adopted what I liked to think was Southern confidence and charm. However, I was still a typical college student. Seriously, check out this smug fratty look!

I really don’t know which is worse: the fact that I took a picture after getting home from the frats (while listening to my roommate PUKE, I remember it like it was yesterday) or the fact that I named this file “SEXY REXY” when I saved it to my computer back then.

October was time for our fall break, and my hometown was something like a nine hour drive from Elon. Plus, I didn’t have a car on campus yet. So my parents booked me a flight – my first time flying alone. I’m a genius college student- nothing bad could happen! Whee!

My friend Mike drove me to the airport, but we hit tons of traffic. I rolled in with barely minutes to spare. After getting through security, I ran to my gate in the tiny terminal. When I came upon my gate number I saw they were boarding. I asked someone in line, “is this the Newark New Jersey flight?” They said yes.

Score! Hop on line. Give them my boarding pass, board the plane without problem.

(Note to Continental- that was your FIRST mistake. I still love you though.)

It’s one of those small planes with one seat rows on the left, and two seat rows on the right. I am sitting in a single seat. I get situated, put away my carry-on, and relax. I start talking to the girl across from me – a fellow college student at a different school – and we become fast friends. She offers to let me watch a movie with her on her laptop when we take off. “Flying is easy AND fun! I am so awesome!” I think to myself.

But wait- I am being tapped on the shoulder by an older man, interrupting my convo with my new plane BFF. He says, “You’re in my seat.” I super-smugly pull out my ticket and show him that I am, in fact, supposed to be in 11A. He pulls his out and shows me that…. yep, he is too. Shit. I politely suggest that since his was an e-ticket, maybe he’s wrong. He sighs and storms off the plane. BFF and I get back to picking out movies.

Then, all of a sudden, a voice comes over the loudspeaker. “If there is a Kelly Lastname on this plane, please come to the front of the plane. You are on the wrong flight. Kelly Lastname, you are on the wrong flight.”

Everyone is silent and looking around. Who the HELL could be such a idiot that they got on the wrong plane?

Oh, right. Me.

So I quietly get up, grab my bags, and mutter softly, to no one in particular…

“Well… I better go find her!”

I shit you not. I said that.

And then I run off the plane.

How my boarding pass scanned is still beyond me, and it clearly makes me feel incredibly safe. Turns out, the earlier flight to Newark had been delayed, along with my flight. Which meant the early flight was leaving when my flight was supposed to. Had I looked at the flight numbers, I would have realized. (And had they scanned my ticket, THEY would have as well.)

If only I had seen that I was too awkward to function earlier, I could have avoided situations such as these! I sat down, read a magazine for about two hours, then took the short flight home. I never told a soul about “the incident.” My ego shrunk two sizes that day. Which is probably a good thing.


Puggie Porn

5 10 2010

My two girl pugs are kinda… horny. Sort of. Once, my friend Laura was watching them while we were on a trip, and texted me something along the lines of “ummmmm can you tell me why I’m watching girl-on-girl pug porn right now?” They like to hump one another. Of my three pugs, only the two girls hump.

They’re sexy beasts.

So today, Dixie decided to tell Sophie how she likes it. Yea-uh!

She knows what she wants! That… Bugg… is… POISONNNN!

Twinner & Pug Madness

3 10 2010

Wow. I don’t even know where to start with my weekend. I got to see my longest blog friend, my Twinner. It was as if we had been friends for YEARS! She got off the plane (I greeted her with cupcakes!), and then we went to my house, exchanged gifts, took out the pugs, and then went straight to get Mexican. Twinner had never seen white queso – apparently in Oklahoma it’s yellow?

Then we did some crafting and baking before getting ready for our evening.

We went to Rock Bottom so that Twinner could try some fun beers. We shared the sampler and a pretzel appetizer. I wish I had taken more pictures of our meals! But we weren’t at Rock Bottom long- we had a Big Fat Gay Pug Wedding to go to!

The whole point of the weekend was to get together a bunch of pug bloggers from around the continent (yes, we had a Canadian blogger come!) I had a pug blog for a long time, The Misadventures of Pug(s) and Bugg. I couldn’t keep up with all the blogs, so I stopped, but these other bloggers have remained my friends and I love getting together with them. There are tons of pug bloggers in Indy and a bunch of “celebrities” came in from out of town. Two Indy pugs, Salinger and Pugsley, decided to get “married” this weekend in front of all the blogger guests. It was pretty hilarious!

Twinner and I then had a little run-in with some mud. There were some sketchy characters in the hotel hallway (where the event was held) so we tried to exit out a different door after we used the bathroom. Turns out we were stuck in a courtyard and couldn’t get back inside. We tried to walk to the fence side, but found out quickly that it was a field of mud.

After cleaning ourselves up in the bathroom (after a nice older man let us in) we realized that whoever used the bathroom next would NOT know that it was mud.

The night was awesome- there were rainbow favors, a doggie cake, and lots of hilarious people. We head home and crashed after such a long day!

The next day was the monthly pug meetup at the park up the street from us. It was insanity!

Check out this cutie, THE FOO! Isn’t that a cute pug name? I just love little Foo. She came to visit from Illinois with her pug sister Genevieve. Here’s Foo:

Pug celebrity Punchy came from upstate New York. She made my pugs’ wedding outfits! (You can find her on etsy at PugPossessed) She wore her pug meetup pants for the occasion.

B was in charge of Sophie, while I was in charge of Harles (he doesn’t do well around other dogs, he gets nervous and snippy) and Twinner had the Bugg, who, it seems, smoked a few crack pipes before the meetup. Seriously.

Harles’ “girlfriend” is Clover who lives in Ottawa, Canada. Clover didn’t make it out but her mom Jess did! Here I am with Jess and Twinner.

This is Miley, whose tongue is TO DIE FOR!

Twinner giving Bugg some cuddles:

These are the ladies from out of town! Illinois, New York, Oklahoma, and Canada!

And then there’s this cutie patootie…. Josie. I fell in love!

Laura and Twinner hung out, even though Laura’s pug Salinger didn’t seem to want to be in pictures.

After the meetup, we went back to our house and watched the OU game for Twinner. Although I’ve been christened a bandwagon fan. BOOMER SOONER! Bugg was concerned about the game.

When the game was pretty much locked up, we went to Vikki’s (who has 11 pugs!) Her husband had just had knee surgery, but she and joined in some party festivities. Which means food!

This is one of Vikki’s crew, Rosie. She had barely any hair when they rescued her. She’s a pug mix and only has one eye. She stayed right in that spot all night!

This is another mix (with Twinner) he is a puggle named Jeff Saturday! Jeff’s owners have three others, a pug named Reggie Wayne, a pug-shi tzu named Dallas Clark, and a Bugg named Peyton Annie Manning. Do you see a (Colts!) trend here?

Here I am with some of the ladies: Stacy (Harles’ foster mom), Michele (Stubby’s mom from Chicago) and my Twinner!

More people- left to right are Jess, Punchy, Gerry (Michele’s husband), Vikki, and Cindy. With various pugs!

Little Josie got tired and had the whole chair to herself!

I tried to get a good picture of everyone, but it didn’t quite work out.

I did get a few more pics with my Twinner though! She got me this beautiful scarf as a gift! Clearly she knows me too well. (The crafts we were doing? These nametags! You can see mine in this picture.)

We took a picture with our good friend Laura as well…

And then discussed doing duck face. (Know you love this, Laura L!)

And yes, I did get everyone to do the duck face.

Poor Salinger (Laura’s only pug) was pretty much pooped at the end of the night. He’s not very social.

I got a picture with the famous Punchy. We all autographed a picture mat for her! She is so talented and lovely.

Twinner gave my little girls lots of hugs and attention while I was busy getting an autographed book!

We crashed hard last night as well, since it was such a long day. Luckily we got to spend some time together this morning before Twinner’s flight. We got breakfast at Perkin’s (disappointing… don’t ask) and then did a little shopping on Broad Ripple Avenue, a cute street with small shops (and lots of bars at night.) Then it was sadly time to take Twinner back to the airport! We miss her a lot but I’m sure she’s happy to get back to her one-pug household after all this crazyness!

I haven’t laughed this hard or had this much fun in a long time! It was a wonderful weekend! Thanks to all my friends, new and old, for making this great, crazy weekend a success!

The Haircut to End All Haircuts.

3 10 2010

MAJOR haircut win this weekend. MAJOR.

And I am sorry to keep you all waiting. I had such a fun twinner-filled weekend (and majorly pug-filled too… don’t worry, that recap will be posted very soon!) and I didn’t get to tweet as much as I wanted to. But let’s recap Friday AM, shall we?

The overwhelming majority of you were saying blonde and trim. This pretty much went with my thoughts. I LOVE my hair brown but with tanning, it makes it more difficult to look good. Plus, B voted only one option- blonde. That’s his opinion and since I could go either way, I figured let’s just keep it blonde! I LOVE my color when it’s fresh and my hair stylist, “The Russian,” is the best colorist I’ve ever had. So that part was easy. (Although I may go darker in the future… who knows!)

At first I was like, let’s just grow it OUT! But I’ve been more frustrated with long hair than any hairstyle I’ve had before. I know a lot of you said it wasn’t “stringy” but the point is, it just hangs. It doesn’t have a nice poof to it. If I am wearing a collared top or a suit jacket, it falls into the top, around it, and just looks really unprofessional and messy. I couldn’t go back. But I didn’t want to go quite as short. The thing that was bothering me the most was the back.

It became flippy no matter what. It hated me. This is the mullet situation I was talking about. Here it was from the front:

I went in and told The Russian my concerns. We decided on a cut that’s a little more trendy, will grow out better (although please, remind me in six weeks to get a trim) and still gives me some length. Oh and her new salon is super cute, close to my house, and has the most awesome lighting fixture ever:

I didn’t even have a minute to take a picture of my hair. Well, a good picture at least! I was texting with my girl pal Stephanie, since we both had hair appointments Friday morning, and finally took this one quickly to show her.

It’s longer in the front, basically just a tiny trim, and then shorter and stacked in the back. It’s much much much more manageable and, I think, pretty cute! Don’t worry, there are tons more pictures coming when I recap my weekend in the next post. Oh, and you can see Stephanie’s hot new ‘do here on her blog! I am jealous of her bangs. I LOVE and want them, but am far too greasy in the face for such a thing.

Also funny- try telling your husband that your hair is short in the back and long in the front. I’m pretty sure B thought Kate Gosselin was walking through our door. After viewing it though, he loves it!

Thanks everyone for weighing in and voting, and for all your sweet words! Sometimes it keeps me from goin’ crazy!


30 09 2010

B and I spent a few hours cleaning the house today, about 7:00 – 10:00 pm. And finally, I don’t feel like a Hoarder!! We did the whole house, but naturally you’re wondering about the spare bedroom.

Remember how the spare bedroom looked? And then how the cleaning was going? (Click and check out the pictures!)

Look! It’s de-hoarderfied!

The desk area is still in need of organization. But it’s guest-ready! And that is great because…


Aka my first blogging buddy. For nearly two years we’ve been blog buddies and we talk nearly every single day. And tomorrow we finally get to hang out!!! We are having a big pug blogger meetup in Indy (that was one of my first blogs- one for the pugs) and I’ll have a very full weekend. So don’t expect that many posts or blog comments until next week. Except maybe a quick update on my hair!

A Mullet Situation

29 09 2010

Ladies and gentlemen… I have a mullet situation.

Not THAT kind of mullet situation. Although I am proud of myself for photoshopping that one.

No, I have a hair problem. My hair is growing out, it’s been almost three months, when it should really be half that between trims for my short style. The back flips outwards immediately after blow drying, and even if I straighten it to curl slightly under, it will flip weird directions depending where it hits my shoulders or shirt collar. I’m kind of hating it right now. But I don’t know what to do with it- grow it out? Or cut it short again (the nearly two-month overdue trim!) And for that matter… stay blonde? Or go darker again.

Let’s backtrack. In high school, and growing up, and through much of college… I had long, blonde hair. (And VERY thin eyebrows. HOLY TWEEZERS!)

Senior pictures FTW!

Ok so we are skipping the rest of HS and college because I’m too thin then and it makes me sad, as well as making my hair look different. A hairstyle can go from hot to not if you gain or lose weight!

My hair was long through my first year-ish with B.

Then I cut it SHORT (well it was really short for me.)

That is an ADORABLE photo. Let’s try another, shall we?

I kept it shorter and blondeish like this for about a year.

Part of what bothers me about my hair short (and my hair in general) is that it’s thinner, and lays pretty flat. It looks stringy and kind of falls wherever.

(This is supposed to highlight the hair flatness. But it’s also when Sophie had her cancer removed and had to wear a cone, so we made her a “flower” and Dixie a Bee for a costume contest.)

When I lost my job in early 2009, I went dark. I kept it that way to save money. It was kind of bad when I was pale…

…but not so bad when I was tan.

(Hangin’ with my pal Laura during a pug get-together!)

It was darker for my engagement pictures.

When I got a job in summer 2009 I cut it and dyed it light again.

That would be me and my baby cousin. This was the first time I thought it might be too short for me.

I went a bit blonder and, after trying on my wedding dress, decided to grow it out.

(I had my one and only successful spray tan this day. The other time I tried I stood off-center and results did NOT turn out this well.)

By my wedding, after about six months of growing, my hair looked like this:

Then, as you all know, I cut it short post-wedding, and have kept it pretty short and blonde.

Then I cut it even SHORTER last July. (Go see the pictures if you don’t remember.)

So I don’t know what to do. I’m sick of having to really style my short hair, and get it cut every 6 weeks. But I hated my hair feeling LONG and STRINGY. I don’t know what looks best on me. And…… I have a haircut on Friday morning. Please help! You can select as many answers as you agree with.

Let me know what you think in the comments as well!

The Grammar Ignorance I Endure

27 09 2010

I value and (sometimes, rarely) enjoy my second job. I have lots of fun co-workers and feel a sense of pride and excitement when I help people shop for what they need. But sometimes, I’m treated really badly.

I bring everything I can to that job, but sometimes feel like I have their preconceived notions of their employees set against me. I don’t goof off, I don’t call off irresponsibly, I pick up hours, and I work hard.

And then when I see things like this sign, I wonder how I even handle the work environment.

(Edited in red in Photoshop. It took every part of my being not to edit it in real life.)

(PS- EASE and Collectabilitees are an acronym and shirt style, respectively, and aren’t typos.)

Listen. I’m grateful to have a second job and I am going to continue to go in whenever I’m scheduled and work my ass off. But grammar like this makes me sick to my stomach. It’s like they actually chose to ignore spell/grammar check!

Part of me hates writing this, because I’m not trying to belittle my managers (or whoever wrote this- I have no idea.) But it’s just that after being talked down to, working on my feet all night, folding everything from XXL tops to teensy infant clothes and re-hanging crap because YOU IDIOTS HANG THEM INSIDE OUT AND UPSIDE DOWN AND THINK YOU ARE HELPING… I don’t want to have to edit too.

The end.